June 5, 2017 § Leave a comment
It’s here again.
This day that is so heavy with the reminder of great pain and sorrow, but equally brimming with celebration and joy over a little life that made a big impact on the hearts and lives of so many. My sweet son, Lincoln Allen, is celebrating his 3rd birthday in heaven today.
I often think about what his life here on earth would have been like – I envision a fair haired, sweet spirited boy who loves his momma and daddy and sisters almost as much as he loves race cars and dirt. I think about how desperately I longed to hear his first words and watch him take his first steps. I think about the new joy my heart felt when he made me a momma for the first time. I love to think of these things, beacause it keeps him alive in my heart, and propels me forward – even in the midst of times when my flesh would love nothing more than to dwell on the heartache of never getting to have any of those experiences with him.
That’s not to say that there are not times – like right now, in this very moment – when my heart and soul are aching and the grief feels fresh and raw again. There are many more days now where I can think of Lincoln, say his name, talk about him to his sisters and miss him out loud without tears and with sincere joy. But I would be lying if I said that there were days without tears and sadness – because I am human and I am a mother without her child – and it is ok. These are the days that keep me close to Jesus.
Grief, and sorrow and heartache and death – they are real, friends. Whether you have personally been affected by them or you have watched someone else walk them out – they exist. They are the byproduct of a fallen, broken world that is in desperate need of a Savior. He alone can restore what the enemy of this life has purposed for your destruction. If you hear nothing else, here this – Jesus is longing to redeem the broken areas of your life. Every single one of them. He is the soloution, the provision and the hope for every area of your life. If I can offer any wisdom or insite from someone who’s “been there” and “is there” it is this: Let Him.
Let Him carry you. Let Him bind up your broken heart. Let Him heal you and retstore you to greater glory. Let Him be your portion and your hearts greatest desire. Let Him trade your mourning for abundant joy. Let Him take you from the darkest night and bring you intomarvelous, radiant light. I promise you, He can. I promise you, He wants to. Because he loves you, more than you can comprehend.
Friends, there is no greater feeling in all the world than knowing you belong to Jesus. Today, that is the hope my heart can cling to. It’s the truth that is faithfully bringing me rivers of gladness and joy, when my heart faulters and is momentarily overcome. It’s the peace that resides deep within and allows my soul to say “It is well”, and to know with every fiber of my being, that it truly is.
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.””
“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.””