I have BIG news.

August 8, 2012 § 31 Comments

Friends,

I’m moving.

To Ohio.

Again.

On September 1st, all of my earthly possessions, my main squeeze, and myself will cram ourselves into my little white Taurus and drive 1,500 miles away from sunshiny Florida, to buckeye-land Ohio.

And, let me just tell you, I’m thrilled. Absolutely tickled pink.

But

Amidst all that joy, mixed up in all the excitement,  I’m sad, too. And terrified. And way, way, way out of my comfort zone.

I’m sad because going there, means leaving things behind here. People, places, and parts of my life that just won’t fit in my trunk no matter how many space saver bags I have. (Mom, don’t worry. I haven’t given up trying to find a way to squeeze you in.)

Waving goodbye to the tropical flavors that I have learned to love

Sayin’ sayonara to the breathtaking beauty of life near the equator

Leaving

all

of this

behind.

I’m terrified because the last time I moved to Ohio, I was *trying to run away from the mess that I had made of my life, and in the process, I just ended up hurting myself and the people I love the most. It’s taken a long time for those wounds to begin healing.

*in case you were wondering, life followed me

I’m so far out of my comfort zone because, well, to be honest I’m *somewhat of a control freak. Ok, ok. I AM 100% control freak. Everything I do is extreme. Perfectionist by nature, I am the definition of all or nothing. In my mind, black and white don’t fade to gray. I like plans. I thrive on details. And lists. Oh, how I adore lists. Unfortunately for me, this move was not planned. This move is not detailed. And there are no checklists.

I wish I was spontaneous. Really, I do. I would love to have a carefree mentality of taking everything in stride as it comes, and “rolling with the punches.” I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to leap before I looked. I’m sure, it’s bliss. The fact is, change of any and every kind freaks me out, throws me out of whack and turns my world upside down. I can’t even change shampoo brands without giving myself at least a week to adjust to the idea. I just hate it. I hate the unknown, the fear that comes when something is unfamiliar and thus potentially harmful. So to say this is a challenge for me, would be a grand understatement.

And the numero uno reason that I’m stressin’ so much? Four weeks (less than that now), is simply not enough time for me properly plan and execute the “perfect” move. Sadly, I’m not entirely sure that four months would be enough time. So now I’m rallying. I’m makin’ lists and checking them off  like a mad woman. I’ve packed my car up a few dozen times in my mind to figure out what essential items are making the trip with me. I’ve calculated and recalculated how much money I’m going to spend on gas and food. I’ve scheduled *bathroom breaks and rests and potential sites to stop and see along the way. And I’ve done all of this, knowing full and well that more than likely, nothing will go as planned. Because when does life work out like that?

*this is a no judgement zone

Anyways, that’s the scoop. You’ve all gotten to taste a little bit of my brand of crazy, and I hope that I haven’t frightened anyone away with my antics and fanatical rantings. But this is my life, and this is what has been taking place in it lately. Stay tuned for part 2 of my big news!

Always, A.

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§ 31 Responses to I have BIG news.

  • jmd12340 says:

    Good luck with the move. Gas prices are rising again so you might want to reconsider your fuel cost when it is actually time to go. Living in Southwest Florida most of my life I can think of reasons to move away, but like you, oh so many reasons to stay.
    Don’t stop writing just because you’re moving. Life is a journey. One step at a time.

    • Ugh! Tell me about it. Every time I drive by a gas station I have a small panic attack! And yes, SWFL isn’t perfect by any means, but it’s gotten ahold of my heart and doesn’t want to let go!

      I promise I won’t stop writing. 🙂 Thank you for the support fellow Floridian!

      • So well written, enjoyable. I had a big move years ago and I thought of a theory. We can look at it like we are moving toward something and not away, cause we can always come back or visit. When I did visit, I couldn’t wait to get back to the new place. That’s when I knew this would be and is “my New home”.

  • Debbie Legg says:

    I can bet we all can figure out Part 2 … Or was it B? I can only say I feel so priviledged to have watched you grow through the darkest of times into such a sunbeam of light! Abbey, I sincerely wish you all the best in your journey through life! God has given me such a love for you from very early on- I will always pray for you and be your cheerleader! God’s plans are only beginning to unfold! Be blessed, sweetie!

  • kalfury says:

    No-one can ever have the perfect move and this time it seems you aren’t running away from something, but instead walking towards a new life and you’re not leaving all the wonderful things behind, you’ll carry them in your heart.
    I’m a control freak too, but you know what I realised? When we try to control things, in the end the fear of not being in control actually controls us, so just relax a little and go with what happens. I bet it’ll be just fine. Good Luck X

  • Lilly Loompa says:

    Wow…I love your style of writing! And can totally relate to your fear of the unknown and moving to another state. In the last 10 years, I have moved a staggering 19 times! Just moved into a beautiful house 2 weeks ago, and really trusting God that this was the last move. We have been praying for God to send us to the right house…and this one is pretty perfect. Now to trust Him for the impossible…to make it our own! All the best looking forward to hearing all about it!

    • 19 times in 10 years .. I cannot even imagine! I am so incredibly please to hear that God has heard your prayers and graced you and your family with a lovely home! He is so good, isn’t He?! Praying that this will be a beautiful season of rest for you!

  • cathykal says:

    Hey there 🙂 I’m staying tuned. I hate change too– but you know what I’ve learned recently? Hating it doesn’t mean that you’re not actually really good at it. I’m turning my whole life upside down again too in a few months (details to follow on my blog I’m sure) and totally stressed about it. But my Dad reminded me that even though I’ve never liked change, once things mull around in my mind, I can actually sail through it gracefully– and indeed I have done many times in my life. Sounds like you’re gonna have a good trip in the end no matter what happens. Wishing you the best of luck!

  • Wow. God bless.
    Remember the music. 😉 but the best songs are often made in the car.

  • Thank you for sharing your big news with us, Abbey. I’ll tell you, when I’m in one of those turbulent times in my life, I remind myself to take slow, deep breaths, with a nice long exhalation for a calming effect. And I agree with the comment from learnpraylove about singing in the car!

  • Liza says:

    New adventures await you! Can’t wait to read about them.

  • quetzalcotl says:

    Oh, wow. I know how you feel, but I don’t have any advice about moving at all. All my life I have only moved once, and that was just a few blocks down to a bigger house as our family grew.

    Well, if there were any advice I should give you, I guess it would be to embrace your fear, and use it as your motivation to prepare well.

    Good luck, A!

  • Sharon Satterfield says:

    Moving is always a hectic process. No matter how much you have planned out something always goes off schedule. Make a trip of it, enjoy the journey and have a little adventure along the way. Congratulations on your move as well, and I am looking forward to part 2 of your blog! 😉

    P.S. – While packing your car up be sure to put any “overnight” or things you will want easy access to, in last. Once made the mistake of packing them first so we wouldn’t forget them and ended up having to unpack the entire car to get to them.

    I also am a list maker, I make lists or everything! 🙂

    ~ Sharon

    • Thank you Sharon! I am definitely going to take your advise about packing the car! What a nightmare that would have been to have to unpack and repack everything while on the ROAD! After reading this comment, I just updated my “Day Of” list. 😉 So really, thanks a million!

  • Good luck with your move. Terrifyingly excited was the mix of emotions I felt when I moved 17,000 kilometres away from home to a new country. Enjoy every day, even the crappy ones will have their moments. Travel, new people, new places, a recipe for life’s adventures.

  • Schwotta says:

    Dear A:
    good luck on your moving. Reading your blog I feel like we have so much in common. I was also in trouble for eating-desorders a couple of years ago, but am fine now. I also live in extremes, hardly accepting balances or middle-points. I have also moved from my hometown to a place completely different. It has been 3 years from that so far, and now and then I feel terribly homesick but that doesn´t take away the beauty of where I am right now.
    I believe the most important message of the evolucionism theory is “get adapted or die”. And that´s the struggle we all live for in any aspects of our lives.
    I also miss terribly family, friends, mum…but that´s another story.
    Anyways, I just wanted to say I feel identified with you, and wish you best of luck.
    Thanks for your posts. And piece of advise, if I may: don´t take life so serious. It´s so short, that it´s not worth any wrinkle or gray hair 🙂

    • Schwotta, thank you for your kind words and thoughful advice! You are absolutely right, life is so very short and I try to remember to be grateful for each and every day. I hope and pray that your struggles with ED are far behind you, and I am so pleased to see that you have taken this leap and forged a new path for yourself! Missing my family and friends and all things familiar is the main reason that I am dragging my feet, but knowing that I have 100% of their support and appoval helps!

      Wishing you the best of luck on this current journey and all the rest to come! 🙂

  • Andrea Kelly says:

    I’m definitely a control freak as well. I almost moved to Idaho, but like you, only had a short amount of time to get things together, so I decided against it. The main difference was that in the end, I just didn’t feel like it was the right decision to go – it sounds like even though the moving process will be stressful, it will also be very exciting and open up a new and positive chapter in your life! Good luck getting everything together, and I hope things go as smoothly as possible! 🙂

  • Good Luck with your move. I live in Ohio. I love it here.

  • […] this post, I told you how afraid and vulnerable and out of control I was feeling. I let you take a small […]

  • towim says:

    Best of luck with the move, I recently moved from the UK to Melbourne Australia and can identify with a lot of the things you said in your post. It is very scary starting from scratch somewhere new. I started a blog as well as a way to capture all of my feelings along the way so that I could remember them down the line. You have a lovely blog here, very well written – keep going 🙂

    • I am slightly (ok, VERY!) envious of you right now.. Australia …how wonderful. I’m so pleased to hear that some of my musings resonate with you! Thank you for the support and encouragement! 🙂 Best of luck on your journey!

  • Karen B says:

    Sometimes those exciting and scary moments are the best ones of our lives. Try to think of it as a great new adventure. Don’t sweat it if you run into a problem.

    Life gets exciting when you overcome problems and if it gets too hard you have friends to lean on…if you want to just vent, I’d listen.

    But, since you are taking this great adventure…don’t forget to have some FUN…and LAUGH, okay EAT, too! And take pictures to send to your friends!

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